When photos of once-glamorous Loni Willison emerged showing her living on the streets and dumpster diving in 2018, no one was more shocked than her ex-husband – Baywatch star Jeremy Jackson.
At that point, Jackson had not seen her for four years, having steered clear since an explosive argument culminating in a 911 call that put the final nail into the coffin of their two-year marriage.
‘Losing her was like the death of somebody, and I tried to bring her back and I couldn’t, said Jackson, opening up for the first time about the events that led to the end of his marriage, in an exclusive interview with DailyMail.com .
‘The woman I was in love with is gone, and whoever she is mentally now is not who I knew.’
Jackson, 44, said it took him two years to get over his grief at the loss of ‘the love of my life’ who he had desperately tried to help as she spiraled into mental illness and addiction.
He paints a bleak picture of their final year together which, as he tells it, saw her become increasingly paranoid, suffering anxiety attacks and hallucinations which left her convinced that he was the enemy.
Their final confrontation went viral after she released a recording of it in 2015 and marked the start of a period in which he hit rock bottom: sunk in a depression over the end of his marriage, enduring torrents of abuse online and still battling his own drug and alcohol demons.
Now clean and working as a fitness coach and sober mentor for other recovering addicts, Jackson told how he spent thousands on various medication and took Loni to therapy sessions – even regularly attending church with her in a bid to help her heal.
But it was all to no avail. Jackson said: ‘I lost the love of my life. I lost the only woman I’ve ever proposed to, the only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry.
‘I’m 44-years-old. I still have not proposed or wanted to marry anyone else.
‘She was my choice, the only choice I ever made, and I lost it.’
Despite his efforts to help her, Jackson claims she had tried to engineer a ‘hostile takeover’ of his finances, swindling thousands of dollars and having his car put in her name before he realized.
She also began secretly recording him – including the infamous tape of the 2014 bust up which ended with her calling the cops and accusing him of attempted murder.
Jackson said: ‘She set me up and started screaming that I was hurting her when I did nothing to her.
‘There are no hospital records. There are no doctor bills. There are no X-rays there are no pictures. She attacked me while recording, screaming, ‘you’re hurting me’.’
That was the last time he saw her. ‘I have not seen her since that day,’ he told DailyMail.com. ‘I went through the biggest depression of my life for two years after.
‘For two years I was in and out of rehabs, crying, doing grief and loss counseling, writing goodbye letters to her, doing deep therapeutic psychiatric work because I lost the love of my life.’
Jackson, who starred as David Hasselhoff ’s son in the 90’s blockbuster show, is no stranger to the ravages of mental illness and addiction, which in his case, included a crystal meth habit that took hold before he was even old enough to buy a beer in a bar.
‘I had the most overprotective mother on the face of the planet,’ he said of his single mom Jolana Dunn.
‘She loves me beyond words. She sent private investigators after me, she called the cops on me. She would pay friends to try to hang out with me, to keep an eye on me.
‘She tried hard. But once somebody’s mind is made up that they want to do that, that they want to party, that they want to do drugs, that they want to get high, there’s nothing you could do.’
By the time he left Baywatch in 1999 aged just 18, he was a full-blown meth addict who had already been in and out of rehab four times.
The following year, he was arrested by undercover cops with two duffel bags containing items used to cook crystal meth and found himself jailed for 90 days and then back in rehab for his fifth stint.
It was into this mix, two years later, came Loni Willison, then aged 19. At the time, she was working as a porn star and a stripper according to her former husband.
‘I met Loni when I was 21. She was 19,’ Jackson said. ‘Loni was a porn star, a 19-year-old girl being used for money on video.’
‘I was in love with her for her spirit, that magic energy, that special thing, that soul connection.
‘I saw that in her and it broke my heart that she was living in the world of porn. But I was only 21.
‘I was a young kid. I was sober, and she drank all the time. I wanted to help her, and my heart broke for her.’
The smitten pair went on to date for four years but the relationship foundered over her refusal to give up her porn career.
Jackson says Loni, who was raised in Hemet, California, then moved to Las Vegas, where she continued in porn and stripping.
‘I lost touch with her,’ Jackson said. ‘My life got better. Her life got worse. But she put herself back together.’
After four years apart, the pair reconnected after she quit porn, got sober and went back to school – while ‘only stripping on the weekends’.
The now 41-year-old also opened up to him about her past, which included a succession of violent drug-addicted boyfriends, including one that had forced her into her early porn work.
He said: ‘That broke my heart. I wanted to be the difference for her. I didn’t support the porn. I didn’t support the stripping. I didn’t think that was sexy or cool.
‘I felt like that was destructive to her spirit. But I didn’t force her or tell her she had to stop. She’s got to make her own choices. We all do.’
Jackson added: ‘I was doing really well in my life at the time, and I thought, I’ve made terrible decisions in my past.
‘I’ve been dirty. I’ve done crime, I’ve done drugs. I’ve lied. I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen. That’s all she did. Just lying to herself, cheating, stealing, just dirty, doing drugs, ashamed of herself, low self-esteem. Parents didn’t love her enough. Boyfriends beat her up.
‘I wanted to heal this woman. I loved her.’
The two began dating again and eventually married in 2012. Jackson, who had become wealthy off the back of his acting career, paid off her student debts and went on to lavish her with money and help.
That included putting her on a meal plan, paying for laser treatment to remove scars on her face and dental work to replace teeth damaged by drugs.
He also helped her to become a certified esthetician and used his Hollywood contacts to get her work as a fitness model.
‘All of these interviews where they say she was a model, that’s not what she was,’ Jackson explained.
‘I got her into magazines. I got her into fitness. She didn’t do that before me. I helped her transition from porn and stripping to being a professional model and a fitness competitor. I helped her.’
But while Jackson was able to help steer her away from drugs and porn, he wasn’t equal to dealing with her deteriorating mental health, which in the final year of their marriage included worsening panic attacks, hallucinations and breakdowns.
He told DailyMail.com: ‘She was hearing things. She was seeing things, and she was accusing me of things that were completely delusional. She would have massive breakdowns, panic attacks.
‘She would come home from work, crying, scared she was going to stab somebody at the doctor’s office.’
Jackson says he tried everything he could think of to help her, including taking her to therapy sessions, going to church together and spending thousands of dollars on medications he hoped would help.
Unknown to him, however, he claims Loni was stealing from him. ‘She secretly took my name off the cars because we were married,’ he said.
‘She changed my billing address with the IRS and was trying to get loans and tax returns to a different address instead of mine.
‘She was trying a hostile takeover of my finances without me knowing.
When matters came to a head over his arrest, which was initially on attempted murder charges but ended with him accepting a caution, Jackson says he blamed himself for what had happened – sparking an extended period in therapy.
He had no idea what had become of Loni but pictured her having a good life only for that to crumble when photos emerged in 2018 showing her living rough.
‘When I saw the pictures online was the first time I realized what had happened,’ he told DailyMail.com.
‘I was sad because I pictured her out there happy, happy with the car she stole from me and the money she stole from me, living her best life.
‘Then I saw her and I said, ‘oh my God’. I had wanted her and me to have a fairytale outcome. I couldn’t allow myself to see that she was actually insane.’
Loni, who is still homeless and living in Venice Beach, has repeatedly declined offers of help and shelter, most recently in an encounter with photographers a week ago.
Friends have also tried to help while Jackson told DailyMail.com he would help her in a flash if she ever asked for it.
‘My company InnerG Wellness has alliances with the best sober companions, the best psychiatrists, the best retreats, women’s support, battered women’s shelters, you name it,’ he said.
‘My Rolodex, my access is at her disposal. My only focus in life, my only mission in life is to have the answers for people when they’re ready.’
Along with his company and another venture of his called Balanced Man which offers residential wellbeing retreats, Jackson is currently starring on Hulu hit After Baywatch: Moment in the Sun alongside his on-screen dad Hasselhoff.
He has, he told DailyMail.com, no real desire to return to acting unless a spectacular part came up – and one that doesn’t clash with his passion for mentoring former addicts like himself.
But despite the ups and downs and the tragic fallout from his marriage to Loni, Jackson says it was worth it to become the man he is today.
‘Whatever it took to get here, I wouldn’t change it,’ he said. ‘If it would change what I am and what I do and what I have now, I wouldn’t go back and change anything.’
Source: Daily Mail